Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
