Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize