Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
