I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
im having a threesome with these popsicles
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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