A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
