I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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