we're blogging at a bar
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
