i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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