just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
