Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
