I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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