I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize