and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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