she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just had sex bonerless
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
