You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
