he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
