he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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