Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
