Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
