"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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