I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
