am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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