no. you can't hotbox the world.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
