ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
