it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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