i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Randomize
