is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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