no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
