we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
im holly from the hills drunk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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