yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
