what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
