It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
