even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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