glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
