he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
