So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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