At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
