i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
