puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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