ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
