you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
