i just google imaged poop.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
