using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
