i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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