Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She even gives head with a lisp.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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