dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
