Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
