Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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