i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
