tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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