Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
