You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
