CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
