Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
